They’ve got a new one up where “Agent Lathan pretended to get lost during a Knicks game. Throughout the second half he kept appearing further and further away from his assigned seat with a confused look on his face.” After a while a bunch of people started calling out to “Rob”.

There has never been a generation of humans in all of history who could see such an event. If you ever get a little depressed, or lonely, or think like there’s nothing going on that’s interesting any more, think on that for a moment or two. A thousand generations of people could only imagine such a thing, but we can actually do it.

This weekend I decided to play around a bit with genetic programming and put evolution to the test, the test of fine art :-) I created a small program that keeps a string of DNA for polygon rendering[...]

Could you paint a replica of the Mona Lisa using only 50 semi transparent polygons? That is the challenge I decided to put my application up to.

You also agree that you will not use these products for any purposes prohibited by United States law, including, without limitation, the development, design, manufacture or production of missiles, or nuclear, chemical or biological weapons.

Screw you, fascist bitches. If I want to use my copy of iTunes to make North Korea jealous, I will dammit.

Sooooo I’ve been reading an article in the Washington Post on fecal bacteriotherapy, a medical procedure that sounds pretty technical but basically amounts to a shit transplant:

Apparently it’s for people whose intestinal bacteria has been destroyed by antiobiotics or disease, but I can’t get past the idea of drinking a diluted turd.

It is normally considered waste product, but it is in a way an independent organ, like the kidney, and it contains thousands of different bacteria living in symbiosis. These bacteria are needed for normal health. When you use some antibiotics, some of this bacteria population gets destroyed. If you later get infected with Clostridium difficile colitis, there is this competitive battlefield in the colon, and without the necessary bacteria, Clostridium has the upper hand. So what we do is take normal stool from a normal person, make an extract of it, put it in a blender with water, take two tablespoons of that cocktail, and introduce it into the patient’s body.

“GOOD morning, ladies and gentlemen. We are delighted to welcome you aboard Veritas Airways, the airline that tells it like it is. Please ensure that your seat belt is fastened, your seat back is upright and your tray-table is stowed. At Veritas Airways, your safety is our first priority. Actually, that is not quite true: if it were, our seats would be rear-facing, like those in military aircraft, since they are safer in the event of an emergency landing. But then hardly anybody would buy our tickets and we would go bust.

The flight attendants are now pointing out the emergency exits. This is the part of the announcement that you might want to pay attention to. So stop your sudoku for a minute and listen: knowing in advance where the exits are makes a dramatic difference to your chances of survival if we have to evacuate the aircraft. Also, please keep your seat belt fastened when seated, even if the seat-belt light is not illuminated. This is to protect you from the risk of clear-air turbulence, a rare but extremely nasty form of disturbance that can cause severe injury. Imagine the heavy food trolleys jumping into the air and bashing into the overhead lockers, and you will have some idea of how nasty it can be. We don’t want to scare you. Still, keep that seat belt fastened all the same.

Your life-jacket can be found under your seat, but please do not remove it now. In fact, do not bother to look for it at all. In the event of a landing on water, an unprecedented miracle will have occurred, because in the history of aviation the number of wide-bodied aircraft that have made successful landings on water is zero. This aircraft is equipped with inflatable slides that detach to form life rafts, not that it makes any difference. Please remove high-heeled shoes before using the slides. We might as well add that space helmets and anti-gravity belts should also be removed, since even to mention the use of the slides as rafts is to enter the realm of science fiction.

Please switch off all mobile phones, since they can interfere with the aircraft’s navigation systems. At least, that’s what you’ve always been told. The real reason to switch them off is because they interfere with mobile networks on the ground, but somehow that doesn’t sound quite so good. On most flights a few mobile phones are left on by mistake, so if they were really dangerous we would not allow them on board at all, if you think about it. We will have to come clean about this next year, when we introduce in-flight calling across the Veritas fleet. At that point the prospect of taking a cut of the sky-high calling charges will miraculously cause our safety concerns about mobile phones to evaporate.

On channel 11 of our in-flight entertainment system you will find a video consisting of abstract imagery and a new-age soundtrack, with a voice-over explaining some exercises you can do to reduce the risk of deep-vein thrombosis. We are aware that this video is tedious, but it is not meant to be fun. It is meant to limit our liability in the event of lawsuits.

Once we have reached cruising altitude you will be offered a light meal and a choice of beverages—a word that sounds so much better than just saying ‘drinks’, don’t you think? The purpose of these refreshments is partly to keep you in your seats where you cannot do yourselves or anyone else any harm. Please consume alcohol in moderate quantities so that you become mildly sedated but not rowdy. That said, we can always turn the cabin air-quality down a notch or two to help ensure that you are sufficiently drowsy.

After take-off, the most dangerous part of the flight, the captain will say a few words that will either be so quiet that you will not be able to hear them, or so loud that they could wake the dead. So please sit back, relax and enjoy the flight. We appreciate that you have a choice of airlines and we thank you for choosing Veritas, a member of an incomprehensible alliance of obscure foreign outfits, most of which you have never heard of. Cabin crew, please make sure we have remembered to close the doors. Sorry, I mean: ‘Doors to automatic and cross-check’. Thank you for flying Veritas.”

MikeUnderscore2004@yahoo.com

MikeAtYahooDotCom@hotmail.com

Mike_WardAllOneWord@yahoo.com

AAAAAThatsSixAs@yahoo.com

One1TheFirstJustTheNumberTheSecondSpelledOut@hotmail.com

The Businessbib allows you to look perfectly put-together in a fraction of the time it takes to boot your computer. You can work from home in your underwear while presenting a polished appearance to the people that matter most. Using a simple abbreviated design of the traditional business suit eliminates the time and effort that goes into primping for more formal meetings. It frees your time and allows you to continue uninterrupted with your casual lifestyle.

Or you could just suck it up and learn how to write code. We never wear ties, and if we do it’s in an ironic hipster sort of way. Of course, a lot of coders I know could benefit from other kinds of bibs (you don’t want to see some of these guys eat).

However, from a design perspective you’ve gotta admit it’s a pretty cool idea. It’s no fishbowl toilet tank, but it got my mind spinning for a couple of minutes.

Claudio Paulo Pinto pops his eyeballs out of their sockets, in Belo Horizonte, 340 kilometers (210 miles) north of Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, on Saturday, Sept 16, 2006. Claudio Paulo Pinto is looking for work. That’s his job _ looking. Pinto can pop his eyeballs at least 7 millimeters (0.3 inches) out of their sockets, a national record for eye-popping according to RankBrasil, an organization modelled after the Guinness Book of World Records that lists Brazilian records. Pinto says he’s been extending his eyes since he was nine years old and ‘it doesn’t hurt a bit.’ (AP Photo/Eugenio Savio)

I tried to warn you…

]]> http://www.frazao.org/2006/09/18/this-is-disgusting/feed/ 0 http://www.frazao.org/2006/09/13/camels-in-the-desert/ http://www.frazao.org/2006/09/13/camels-in-the-desert/#comments Thu, 14 Sep 2006 00:39:07 +0000 smoovej http://www.frazao.org/?p=14 There’s an email chain that’s been going around lately containing an amazing photo of camels in the desert:

The following is a picture taken of camels in the desert. It is considered one of the best pictures of the year (2005). Look closely, the camels are the little white lines in the picture. The black you see is just the shadows!

My first reaction when I saw this was “That’s a helluva Photoshop job”. But it turns out it’s real. Snopes.com has this to say:

This starkly beautiful overhead image of shadows cast by a caravan of camels trekking across desert sands is the work of photographer George Steinmetz, whose work has been featured on the cover of National Geographic and within the pages of many other magazines devoted to news, travel, and the sciences. As described on his web site, Mr. Steinmetz is “Best known for his exploration and science photography [as he] sets out to reveal the few remaining secrets in our world today: remote deserts, obscure cultures, new developments in science and technology,” and (as exemplified by the image displayed above):His latest passion is photographing the world’s deserts while piloting a motorized paraglider. This experimental aircraft provides him with a unique physical perspective over remote places that are inaccessible by conventional aircraft.

This particular image (as indicated by the logo visible in the upper right-hand corner) came from the Turkish version of National Geographic, used in conjunction with a February 2005 article about deserts. Similar camel photos grace the opening page and Explorations section of George Steinmetz’s web site.

]]> http://www.frazao.org/2006/09/13/camels-in-the-desert/feed/ 8 http://www.frazao.org/2006/08/22/handsteady-drink-stabilizer-3/ http://www.frazao.org/2006/08/22/handsteady-drink-stabilizer-3/#comments Wed, 23 Aug 2006 00:01:00 +0000 smoovej http://www.frazao.org/?p=8 This is a product that has been a long time coming, and it’s already winning design awards. The handSteady drink holder allows a person suffering from tremors to drink from a cup without spilling or dropping the cup. Pretty cool, I’d say.

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